Good-bye To The Best Dog EVER

I've been dreading this post and cried a million tears just thinking about the right words to describe our loyal, gentle, protective, patient dog, Bogie. It's been ready to post for weeks, except for the end. I've had a hard time reliving those last few hours.

Our Bogie is gone.

Because I know they won't have many, if any, memories of him, I want David and Rachael to know everything about our Bogie. And perhaps this will help my heart heal a little too.

*many of the pictures used are scanned hard copies out of Bogie's photo album. Yes, he had his own album and it was filled to about his 10th birthday when most pictures then became digital. He then got a folder on my computer designated just for him. It was hard for me to pick out my favorites, there's just too many to post.*

So, here we go....

Bogie was born on December 29, 1999. He was originally Big Daddy's dog. He got Bogie for his birthday in February 2000. That's Bogie's Mama, Maddie, looking so sweetly at him.

 

That day Big Daddy and Ma drove that sweet, little, yellow fur ball up to our lake house, where I met them. It was a two hour drive. So, basically, Bogie was my Dad's dog for a grand total of 120 minutes.

And that was it. As soon as I saw him I was in love.

 

He was the CUTEST puppy ever.

 

He grew fast, and so did my love for him. 

 

 

I was away at college during the week, but he waited patiently for me to come home on the weekends. 

 

And he wanted to be right next to me whenever I was home.

 

 

At first he wasn't allowed to come upstairs, so when I was up there he laid at the bottom and whined until I came back down.

 

Big Daddy and Uncle Rich took Bogie on his first hunting trip. Here he is bringing back his first quail.

 

Bogie, being the retriever he was, loved hunting and was quite good at it. His drive was strong. So, I decided to train him to be even better. 

Bing [and Ryan] helped us A LOT. I knew nothing about training a retriever, especially to compete in HRC hunt tests, but we did it. And those are some of my favorite memories with my Bogie.

 

  

Our hard work paid off and we ended up with a Hunting Retriever title.

 

 

We also LOVED hunting quail on our property in Alabama. 

 

 

 

  

We went dove hunting one time and duck hunting a couple of times too. They were too slow paced for us. Bogie wasn't patient when it came to hunting.

 

Through all the time we spent training together our bond grew very strong. 

Eventually Bogie was allowed to come upstairs and ended up sleeping on my bed with me at night, and sometimes he slept there even when I wasn't. 

 Bogie was an incredibly easygoing dog. He just wanted to be with my family and me, whatever we were doing.  He enjoyed his life to the fullest.

He loved being in parades.

 

Retrieving the newspaper every morning.

 

Going on camping trips.

 

Being at the beach.

 

Humoring us many, many times.

 

Looking for deer antlers at the farm. [he wasn't great at this, but sure did like the looking part]

 

Riding on the jet ski.

Fishing at the lake.

 

Fishing on the boat.

Fishing at the farm.

Just being near fish.

 

Or better yet, catching one all by himself!

 And oh, how he LOVED it when Ryan brought home a turkey or deer from a hunt. Here's Bogie at TEN years old attempting to jump over the tailgate of the truck because he couldn't wait any longer to see the deer Ryan had brought him.

In April 2006 [just 3 months before Ryan and I got married], Bogie had back surgery. He had a herniated disc in his lower back that was causing him great pain and discomfort. He looked so pitiful following the surgery. My family and I nursed him back to health and he was as good as new in no time.

 

He moved in with Ryan and me after we got married in July 2006. He was in EVERY Christmas card picture we sent from 2006

 To 2013.

Ricky and Cate taught him all about little kids, which would come in handy later in life when David and Rachael would arrive. 

He made many doggy friends along the way. Many who crossed The Bridge before him. 

Sweet Maggie, Ryan's dog.

His favorite hunting partner, Meg [Uncle Rich's dog]

 

His brother from another mother, Hoss, who I also may or may not have "stolen" from Big Daddy.

 

 All of The Whitelaw's side. Truman, Cody, Cash, and Daphne.

 

And most recently Joe and Hooch [unfortunately, I don't have a picture of him with her] This is Joe as a pup.

Oh, and of course, there's Annie the goat. She wanted to be friends more than he did. Maybe it was because she head butted him the first time they met.

Every one of his birthdays was celebrated, whether he liked it or not.

 

And when the time came, he loved our babies even before they were born.

 

And he was right there to welcome them as soon as we got home. 

He was proud to help David make the announcement when they found out they were going to be big brothers. 

He loved them.

 

They were his babies too.

He played with them.

Or, let them play with him.

He quickly found there were some advantages to having little kids around. And Number 1 on the list: Increase in Table Food for Him.

He watched over them.

 

Right up 'til the end.

 

He's in too many family pictures to count.

 

 

 

His last days were spent as most of his days were: playing outside with his children. I took these pictures because somewhere deep inside I knew he wouldn't be with us much longer. I didn't see then how very old and tired he looked. When I looked at him I always saw the same little, yellow fur ball pup. But, he got old and his body simple wore out. 

The kids loved to pretend it was Bogie's birthday and make him a sand cake and sing to him.

Here's a video of the last time my sweet, old man brought the newspaper in. 

The night this video was taken [January 21, 2014], was when things went downhill in a split second. It was bedtime. Bogie always slept in our room and I was determined he always would. There was no way I could leave him downstairs alone. He had been having trouble getting up and down the stairs, so that night, as I had been doing for several weeks, I helped Bogie up the stairs. I gently lifted up his back end while he walked, slowly, up. As soon as we got to the top of the stairs, he collapsed and fell into the wall in front of us. At first I thought he must have tripped on the last stair and would be okay when he got up. But, he wasn't. He tried to stand up, but could hardly keep his balance. When he was finally able to stand on four very wobbly legs, he walked as though his back end was leading him and he couldn't remember how to get to our bedroom. Ryan and I helped him to his bed and encouraged him to lay down. He didn't want to at first, but when I sat on his bed he quickly sat in my lap [something he loved to do]. I sat there holding my old man and buried my face into his fur. I cried for 30 minutes straight because my brain knew what my heart didn't want to acknowledge: This was it. The beginning of the end. I prayed to God to help him. "PLEASE make him better by the morning. I'm not ready for this!"

The next morning I got up early to go to the gym. Bogie was sleeping soundly on his bed. When I returned home about an hour later I found Ryan laying on the floor with Bogie, sobbing. My heart shattered. Ryan said Bogie had tried to get up, but fell into a wall again. It was like he was dizzy and it wouldn't stop, even his eyes seemed to be spinning. And when I looked into those eyes, he wasn't there. He was sad to be in his current state. Ryan tried to take him outside to use the bathroom, but he couldn't get his balance enough. He had an appetite, but couldn't stand still long enough to eat. So, we made him lay down on his bed in the living room and I brought him some kibbles to eat.

We knew what had to happen that day. It was the right thing to do for the dog that had done right by us for 14 years.

Wednesday, January 22 was a school day for the kids [a blessing]. Ryan and I tried to keep that morning as normal as possible for them but did explain to them that Bogie was going to go to Heaven soon. They each gave Bogie a treat before getting in the car. I drove them to school while Ryan called our vet. I called my brother on my drive home. I needed to talk to someone who understood. He had recently been through a similar situation with his dog, Meg, and I knew he would understand.

Ryan and I were able to spend about 30 minutes with Bogie before it was time for us to make our way to the vet. Bogie laid on his bed while we sobbed together. The entire time I had this weird feeling of wanting the day to hurry up so we could get it over with but also wanting time to stop so we could get more time with him. Ryan carried him out to the car when it was time to go. He rode in the floorboard at my feet, his spot for every road trip with our family. I cried the whole car ride while I kept both hands on Bogie, one on his head one on his back and my head buried in his fur. It was the longest car ride ever. The worst car ride ever. Knowing how it was going to end literally felt like my someone was stabbing me in the heart.

The vet's staff was so nice and understanding. They escorted us back to a room and gave us as much time as we needed. They had a comfortable bed for Bogie to lay on, the lights dimmed, and candles lite. When Bogie's vet came in, I lost it again. I knew the time was drawing near and I couldn't take it.
He looked Bogie over and explained that Bogie had a brain disease whose symptoms were similar to Vertigo in humans. He said the sudden onset was typical. Our vet of 7 years was very sympathetic and kind to both us and Bogie. It was comforting to see him love on Bogie one last time. He understood what Bogie meant to us and knew our hearts were aching. He knew, from many previous vet visits, that we would do anything to keep our Bogie with us. When the time came for us to say goodbye forever Ryan and I held Bogie the entire time, whispering our love to him as he crossed over. I watched the injection that would take my Bogie from me go into his leg. It was a quiet and peaceful moment as he left us.
The vet again left us alone to mourn.
We stayed in the room for about 15 more minutes in disbelief at what had just happened. I couldn't help but think that less than 24 hours before he was fine.

By the time it was all over it was nearing time for me to pick up the kids at school. I had to go back into Mama-mode. That was tough. I tried to hold it together but as soon as David and Rachael got in the car David asked if Bogie was in Heaven. Often times Bogie would go with me to pick them up and when he saw his dog wasn't in the front seat, he must have known. My intuitive little 3 year old. He had lots of questions on the way home: Did Daddy and I see Bogie go up to Heaven? How did he get there? Is he with Jesus and God? Does he get to come back? Can I go to Heaven and see him sometime?
I continued to hold it together as best I could, but did cry several times on the ride home. It wasn't that I was ashamed to cry in front of my children, it was that I was driving and didn't want to go into the ugly cry and endanger us all.
When we got home they both ran in the house, as they always did, yelling "Hi Buh-buh! Hi Buh-buh!" We had to remind them that he wasn't with us anymore. After feeding them lunch and putting them for naps, I tried to lay down and take a nap too. Mostly I was hoping to sleep away some of the day so that it would go faster and also hoping I would wake up and it would all have been a terrible nightmare. But, I was never able to go to sleep. My brain just kept replaying those horrible moments at the vet.

 The days passed slowly and painfully. I thought I heard Bogie everywhere, I would freak out when I thought I had forgotten to feed him or let him out, his beds in the living and in our room made me sob to see them. But, the thing that was most painful was unexpected. I didn't realize it until he was gone but when we would all come home together we would all be so happy to get in the house to see him. It was like a race to see who could get inside and let Bogie out first. If it was warm outside we would all play in the front yard. I miss those times.

The following weekend we traveled to the farm in Alabama to lay our Bogie to rest next to his favorite hunting partners.
It was unbelievably hard to say goodbye to our Bogie Boy. Ryan dug the hole with the tractor and laid his body in the ground. We sat next to him crying. It was made even harder because the kids were there. They didn't completely understand. 'If Bogie is in Heaven, then why is his body still here?' We tried to explain that Bogie wasn't in his body anymore, that his soul and what we loved about him was in Heaven. And then my intuitive little boy said, "Well, if he's not there then just bury him." He was mostly excited to play in the big pile of dirt next to the hole, but his words were so true. He was right. It was just a body. Bogie, my precious Bogie, was in Heaven. His words made the moment a tiny bit easier. So, we pushed the dirt in. The kids enjoyed that part which brought some comic relief to the entire situation.


 Since I was a little girl I've been visited by loved ones, in various ways, shortly after their deaths. So, I wasn't surprised that my first "child" came to me. But that's a different post, or perhaps a totally different blog.

The night before we buried Bogie he came to me in a dream. He was playing in a field of yellow flowers up on a hill. I could tell he was having so much fun looking for quail [or maybe even fish, who's to say?] and running and jumping in the tall grass. He looked so young, free of pain, and happy. I could never get close to him even though I was walking in his direction.When I woke up I felt a great sense of peace and comfort in my heart which I so desperately needed.

Run, play, fish, and hunt my sweet Bogie until I see you again.