Trying Not to Cry

Alright. My babies are growing up. I know that. It's just that some days really make it sink in more than others. 

This bassinet has been next to our bed for just over 2 years. I found it online and fell in love with it. Ma gave it to me just weeks before David was born.  My two precious babies laid their little heads down in this beautiful bassinet for a total of 11 months [David for 4 and Rachael for 7]. It's difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I will never have my own baby sleeping next to me here. But, Rachael is ready and so I must be too. 

This is how our bed has looked for over two years.

 Two super cute bears dangling from the canopy.

 I love every part of this special bassinet.

 Where my babies slept [and sometimes didn't sleep] for many nights.

Last night, for her 7 month birthday, Rachael slept all night in her crib. I had been "practicing" for several nights by putting her in her crib until I was ready for bed. I would then feed her and bring her into our bedroom to put her in the bassinet for the rest of the night. But, last night, I put her back in her crib. I gave in. I let go. I tried not to cry.

She did very well all night. She only woke up one time around 3:30am needing a little help getting comfortable again. When she woke up, I ran to her room to see her in the morning light as she awoke in her new bed. Such a beautiful little girl. 

First night in her crib.

Also today, we toured a potential Preschool for David to attend in the Fall. We visited the school as it was in session, so there were lots of kids there. David loved it. He walked into the classroom that would be his and made friends right away. It was snack time, so he pulled up a seat and joined in. Then he played with the children and participated in craft time. I was trying to focus on what the Preschool Director was telling me about the student to teacher ratio, the schedule breakdown for each day, how they deal with unruly kids [all very important things to know], but I was distracted by the thoughts of how quickly my baby boy grew up. I couldn't believe we were there for my son to go to school here! My baby? No way. Again, I tried not to cry.

It's hard to let go of my babies, whether it's just down the hall or into a room full of kids with someone other than me in charge. But, I know I have to. These are just two small moments, but they are big for me right now and I'll try not to cry.