Miss Independent

I never thought I would be able to say that I nursed my child for 22 months. Whoa. That's a long time and I am unbelievably proud of it. I know there are probably women reading this who will or have surpassed that marker, but for me it's a big deal. 

Rachael has been nursing her entire life and, sadly, now it is coming to an end. 

I wish I was poetic enough to truly illustrate how I'm feeling about this time in our lives. I feel blessed to have been able to provide her with the most perfect nourishment. The health benefits to a baby who nurses, even for one day, are innumerable. There were many times over the last year and a half plus that I thought about quitting or thought she was done.

 In more recent days, I knew the end was near. Rachael very kindly eased me into her new-found independence thankfully and didn't just go 'cold turkey' one day. At nap time or bed time I would ask her if she wanted to nurse, she would say yes, latch on for a moment or two, and then snuggle up next to me to enjoy some skin-to-skin contact until she was ready to get in her bed. I am so thankful for this transition. I think it would break my heart if she just totally quit one day. 

Rachael is my last baby. Ending my breastfeeding days forever. Moving her one step away from being a baby. That's all been really tough for me to come to terms with. 
You see, I nursed David until he was 12 1/2 months old. He quit cold turkey [on Mother's Day 2011]. But, that was okay with me because I was already about 18 weeks pregnant with Rachael, so I knew I would have another baby to breastfeed. 

But, now that Rachael has weaned I feel like she needs me a little less. I know, I know, she's supposed to grow up and need me less. It's a good thing. But, tell that to my heart.  

There is an upside, which I believe is happening at this time to help me cope. At the same time Rachael stopped nursing, she started getting serious about potty training. All of a sudden she is using the potty at least once a day. She is really doing great! She has only had a few "accidents" in her diaper, but they were mostly my fault. [Even though it hasn't been that long, I have to relearn how to potty train]

Rachael is VERY independent these days with everything she does. She wants to do everything David does. She can say and do anything and everything. If she wants help, she'll ask for help. Otherwise, stand back and watch her go. 

Will we make it to 23 months? Who knows! But, I do know I'm so proud that my baby girl is growing up, wants to be her own person, and has an insane amount of confidence about herself. It's just a very emotional time for me right now as I watch her move from baby to little girl more and more everyday.